the most important trait in a significant other

This topic, which was inspired by Real Simple, got me thinking how far we’ve come along in identifying some of the most important and loved traits in a partner. The personality and characteristics of someone I found attractive when I was fourteen years-old and is completely different from what I prefer now. And that, of course, is how it goes, doesn’t it?

The things I found most important in my significant other

…by the beginning of high school: He was the complete opposite of me - outgoing, outspoken and the most popular, charismatic guy in school. Good dancer.  And nice. That was pretty much it.

...by the middle of high school: My standards hadn't changed much. Well-liked, talented, mysterious. Not a compulsive liar, which was a major plus in my book.

…by the end of high school: He was edgy. Piercings, heavy metal, chains, UFO pants (remember those?!). Funny - in a kind of insulting way. Led a fascinating lifestyle. Had drive. And again, nice (most of the time, anyway).

…by the third year of college to present day: He makes me laugh, has the ability to laugh at himself, honest, gentle, artistic, takes an interest in my endeavors, comfortable in his own skin, giving of his time and keeps calm in a crisis (to counter my proneness to panic). And he happens to be very nice, too.

 A glimpse into the past is quite the learning experience. I’m thankful to have gone through my phases (however shallow they might have been) before I realized what really matters. I guess it goes hand-in-hand with that saying…kiss a few frogs and something or other? I forgot the rest but I think you get the idea.

I’m curious…what are some of the traits that you most cherish? I’m guessing you’ve done some growing as well. Do tell.

-jillian m.