secret single behavior

Or SSB, as Carrie Bradshaw put it.

It was the episode where Aidan moves in and Carrie reluctantly comes to terms with having someone else in her space. She felt she could no longer freely snack on her stacked saltines, while standing up in the kitchen and reading Vogue. She'd too embarassed having a man see her indulge in such a weird ritual.

Personally, I don't find that to be too bad. My boyfriend has seen me do much stranger things.

It got me thinking about my own SSB. What behaviors have I acquired over the years that I'd be a little embarrassed to have Bob see me do? Now that we're living together, we've gotten a pretty good idea of each other's quirks (that's a nice way of saying "annoying habits", by the way). But is there something else? Something unusual - like when Charlotte stared at her pores in the mirror for hours.

The thing is, Bob has some pretty bad habits himself, so I'm not really ashamed to do much in front of him. But here goes my list anyway:

1.) Sleep with tweezers under my pillow. Let me just say this: I do not do it anymore.  But my poor friend Jen once almost poked her eye out while she was sleeping in my bed once (good thing she had a sense of humor about it!). But when I was sleeping on my own, one side of the bed was usually covered in magazines, makeup tools, clothes, pens, you name it. I happily and comfortably always slept on the left side. There was room for both of us. As in me and my mess.

2.)  I practice my America's Next Top Model poses in front of the full-length mirror. Sometimes, I'll even put on heels for added effect. I've already perfected the hunch.

3.) When I'm cooking, I'll pretend I have my own show on the Food Network and walk my imaginary audience through the steps.  And combine the ingredients like so...you guys, this is going to come out so great! I'm a really cheesy host.

So...do you have SSB? Spill please!

the most important trait in a significant other

This topic, which was inspired by Real Simple, got me thinking how far we’ve come along in identifying some of the most important and loved traits in a partner. The personality and characteristics of someone I found attractive when I was fourteen years-old and is completely different from what I prefer now. And that, of course, is how it goes, doesn’t it?

The things I found most important in my significant other

…by the beginning of high school: He was the complete opposite of me - outgoing, outspoken and the most popular, charismatic guy in school. Good dancer.  And nice. That was pretty much it.

...by the middle of high school: My standards hadn't changed much. Well-liked, talented, mysterious. Not a compulsive liar, which was a major plus in my book.

…by the end of high school: He was edgy. Piercings, heavy metal, chains, UFO pants (remember those?!). Funny - in a kind of insulting way. Led a fascinating lifestyle. Had drive. And again, nice (most of the time, anyway).

…by the third year of college to present day: He makes me laugh, has the ability to laugh at himself, honest, gentle, artistic, takes an interest in my endeavors, comfortable in his own skin, giving of his time and keeps calm in a crisis (to counter my proneness to panic). And he happens to be very nice, too.

 A glimpse into the past is quite the learning experience. I’m thankful to have gone through my phases (however shallow they might have been) before I realized what really matters. I guess it goes hand-in-hand with that saying…kiss a few frogs and something or other? I forgot the rest but I think you get the idea.

I’m curious…what are some of the traits that you most cherish? I’m guessing you’ve done some growing as well. Do tell.

-jillian m.